Awaken; Love, Thoughts, Enlightenment

"The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings."
-Buddha

If i could give everyone one gift, or help them to realize one thing. It would be to love; how to love themselves, love people, & love life. I've been so privledged to grow up with a loving mother and father; parents that have given me a strong foundation, in which I am able to look at life through loving eyes.

My mother always cheers and includs the underdog, not feeling the need to follow the crowd, even if that meant feeling a little lonely, I love how she sees the needs of others and goes out of her way to make things happen.
I know a lot of people don't understand her, or get mad when she defends others, but its the people that get mad or try to "attack" her that are really the "issue".
(I try to avoid these people) These are the people who; attact, defend themselves, make judgements, justify their actions, blame others, usually complain, need to control, needs approval, live in worry and fear, always have some sort of problem, tend to feel unworthy, powerless and limited, they more then likely are angry and have regrets.
I'm sure we can all think of someone right now... But how do we attempt to "soften" these people... Love. Yeah, it's hard to love someone living in Victim mode, they are probably lacking some sort of love, and haven't truly learned the value of life.

How do we love these people?
-Control our thoughts, when you start thinking negatively, stop yourself, focus on a positive.
-Send them a smile (fake it, till you make it!)
-if your into visualizing, picture them as an innocent 3 year old child, what was their childhood like? try and hug them as that innocent 3 year old.

My Father, is my hero, the prefect example of how a child should be loved. Yes, some say I spoiled rotten, a daddy's girl, but what really blew me away, and i finally was able to get a glimpes of how God loves us was through my father.
I heard all my life that "God loves you more then your earthly father ever could" but one day inperticular, i was blown away!!! I wish everyone could experience the love my father has for me, then maybe others would have a tiny idea of how much God really does love us.
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Anyways, I'm going to end this now, i'm starting to rant a little too long.
This has been on my mind these past few weeks, mainly because i feel surrounded by people who are in victim mode, and wished they would try and overcome that, and see the potential that life can have! I want people to Awaken from victims and transformation into enlightened loving people so they can become all that they are created to be.

Keep Reachin' High

Check out This video w/ Keshlin ft. Nova



Nova = Synnove
I met this girl during my time in LA this past spring.
Synnøve is one of the most beautiful girls I know. She is sooo incredibly talented, she is kind and honest and always sees the positive in life, she's also a prayer warrior, and doesn't let the oppression of her country hold her back!
She is an inspiration to me, to be who I am, to just be radiant of Gods love, and to love everyone the way God loves them.
I love you Synnøve

You got me and Jesus!

I love my best friend! This song has gotten us through a lot over the years, and has been a reminder of all the goofy days we have had jamming out in the church! hahaha
I love you my girl!




"Me And Jesus"
Stellar kart


When there's nowhere else to turn
All your bridges have been burned
Feels like you've hit rock bottom
Don't give up it's not the end
Open up your heart again
When you feel like no one
Understands where you are

[chorus]
Someone loves you even when you don't think so don't you know you got
Me and Jesus by your side through the fight you will never be alone on your own you got me and Jesus

After all that we've been through
Be now you know I've doubted too
But everytime my head was in my
Hands you said to me
Hold on to what we got
This is worth any cost so
Make the most of life
That's borrowed
Love like there's no tomorrow

Passion.

The Latin definition of passion is to “suffer” or “endure”.

During my time in Los Angeles, I was asked the question “what am I truly passionate about?” and for the first time I’ve realized I’m passionate (I would suffer) for Native American Youth.

Growing up being aware of the racism and the oppression that Native American Youth face, I’ve always been one to try and “break the odds” and be someone who didn’t need to fall into the stereotype of what my people were constantly falling into. My belief in creator God, is what kept me falling into a life to drugs and alcohol.

I’ve always loved working with Youth and Young Adults, trying to inspire them to take a chance in life and chase after your dreams.
I'm excited to see what the future holds for me as an Image Consultant, I want to be able to empower youth and young adults through;
-Fashion (dressing modestly and fashionably)
-Health and Fitness (becoming what you were created to be)
-First Impressions (job interviews and dressing for success)

I absolutly love seeing people reach for their dreams and chase after what they want in life, and I believe if you want something so bad, it will happen. I want to be able to come along side of my generation and help them strive to become all that they can be.

Right now i'm listening to...

Girly mode :)



Haha, I'm still sadly in love with Taylor Swift... don't judge!

The bright side of journeys

It's about a journey, choices, mistakes that lead you to where you are now, which in my case is an end result of some of those mistakes and trials. Not to say my journey is done, rather a part is done so a new one can begin. But, there will... always be the mistake I remember most and thought was the last chapter. The hope, love, never giving up and wanting something so bad you need it. The person who was afraid, or didn't know what they had... is now just a memory, it never felt finished...but sometimes, some journeys aren't meant to be finished, only felt or maybe only understood. Maybe perhaps that was the end of that journey, although it never felt as much.
You never mean to make mistakes, or rather most or some people don't mean to purposely make mistakes. But you have the hope and the dream, you want to create and do something good and share with another. Sometimes those are the mistakes you need to go through to learn, building blocks. Or maybe I'm just looking on the bright side...

My Mothers Strenght

(this was originally writen sept 26, 2010)
Last night I found new admiration for my mom.
and it also made me realize what a forturnite fool i really am!
The person I am today, is because of my mothers strenght and perseverance thoughtout her life.
As she was allowing me to see glimpses of her childhood, I wanted to feel sorry for her, I wanted to cry, but it was in that moment I felt and realized her strenght.
What kind of woman could go through so much garbage and still find it in her heart to forgive and become such a loving person; a person who would do anything she possibly could to help family and friends?
Easy, a woman who is living for the person who created her!

When I say i'm a fortunite fool, I say this because I was given everything in life, and now i still expect that... i have BIG dreams, dreams that I sometimes think will just happen. I'm learning what I put into life, is what I get out of it. I've been so truly blessed to have had a life that was handed to me on a silver platter, but I need to FINALLY learn to not be afraid of failure, or not always being "perfect". I know what I believe, and I know who I am. I want have that same drive my mother has.

Wish List

Thanks to Daniela my make up teacher(www.noveimage.com), there are a whole lot of products my tiny budget needs to invest in! haha, so i figured this would be a good way to remind myself what I would like. (cause i suck at looking back into school notebooks).
Wish list:
*Professional colour analysis kit*
Regular facials
NOAHS Natural foods; Argyle green clay
Clinque Moisture surge
Fish oil pills
Age lock
photo appolision
Hiscott beauty supplies; bennye for covering splotches
acupuncture
Rolfing
Paula Begoun membership
Quo brushes (especially the angle brush)
MAC eyeshadows: faces for winter (soft black)
Mystery (cool taupe brown)
Espresso (warm brown)
Tweezerman tweezers
MAC; pink swoon blush



This is it for now. haha, off to sleep! (image management tomorrow!)

"Hi, my name is Melissa and i'll be your colour consultant for today. Today we are going to find your "wow" colours. Your wow colours harmonize with you, and allow you to look your best, healthiest and most powerful..."

Sir Isaac Newton discovered that light is the source of colour, if you don't have light you don't have colour, and if you change the light you change the colour.

I can't help but think of Light in terms of the one who created us. How much Light am I allowing into my life? Am I allowing God to shine his brightest in my life? or are there places where i've tried to hide from the light? where I won't let it in?But I know I'm called to be a light also! (we all are!) I asked Jesus Christ to come live inside of me... and something soooooo bright thats living inside of me, should make me become a light too! I don't want to be some dull light that has slowly replaced Christ's with some unlasting love, love that is so easy to disappear.

I want to become the bright light that God has created me to be, one that is pure, full of joy and love. I want Gods light to reveal my "wow" colours.

Colour Analysis

is intense!
seriously, who knew there was so much to learn about colour!
And i've come to the realization that I know NOTHING about image/style. haha, but it's ok! cause i'm here to learn! BUT on the down side a lot of my clothes are no longer going to be in my closet cause they aren't the best for me. weirdly, this is only day 4 of my classes, and there is 17 more days left, it kind of makes me nervous as to what i'm going to think of my clothes after! haha

On a side note, being here makes me read my bible and be in prayers a WHOLE lot more, its also a place were i feel that I want to be as close to God as possible.

I'm keeping positive and still really enjoying the experience!

Toronto International Image Institute

Don't worry about tomorrow, just love Jesus and He'll take you were He wants you to go.

After an amazing few months in LA (march-june), my love for the fashion industry was really ignited again. For a long time I've placed it on the back burner, it was something fun, but I had to remember to keeping my focus on the passion God has given me for Native America.

The month of July finally came around, I left LA, and toured the North West States in America. (travelling with a mobile ministry brining hope to Native American young peoples)

Typically coming home from such things, I hit a depression, missing and long to be somewhere else. But it was weird this time, I felt at peace with myself and life. Not knowing if i was going to be able to get a job, or what i'd be doing, usually freaks me out... But it didn't, I decided that i'd attempt to keep myself as busy as possible, going to the gym, zumba classes, and i even signed up for Hospice training!

My mom (gotta love my mom), she always puts ideas into my head, and one of them was to become an image consultant. I didn't give it much thought, and brushed it off. but my mom, being my mom, came home with the information. Finally mid september decided to look it over, and was like "meh, sounds kinda cool, and i guess it can't hurt to apply".

Sure enough I got accepted! But now the real stresser kicked in.... its $7500. I'm a missionary without supporters and doesn't have a job! and even if i got one, i wouldn't have that before schooling started in October!
Soooooooo, I decided to go through Native funding (some people may think this is easy, but its a LOT of "jumping through hoops", a lot of research, and writing, and the people that could potentially help me have denied school funding 3 times in the past.) So i school that short, with that price, without a for sure job in the end... this seemed IMPOSSIBLE...

I was finally able to have a meeting last monday, was given even more homework, the hardest part yet. Planning my life, and expressing my goals for the future, and how can Image consulting help me in reaching my goals. (i'm a visionary person, ideas come easy, but expressing them, and making them sound like they go together.... thats hard!) but i handed it in on Friday......

Stress free weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
until Monday, i recieve an e-mail "Just a friendly reminder your tuition is due by the end of the day." ummmm, was there a first reminder!?!?

Contacted the Intitute, explained my situation. Thankfully they gave me until Friday (October 14, 2010).

Driving home on Wednesday, I finally decided to just not stress. Driving home from Zumba, I remember praying "God... I don't want this to be something I'm doing for me.... but if this is where you want me, make it clear. If not. then I'm sorry for not listening to you, and running with this idea.... actually... i'm sorry for not asking you to direct me before hand.

I heard nothing from my potential funders until Thursday (today). I FINALLY got back the draft she was handing into the people who would approve this funding..... (at 3:30pm. work was almost over, and she was JUST HANDING IT IN! but I was fine. I felt at peace knowing that whatever happeneds God's in control of this now.)

Of course though, doubting came to mind, and since it was so last minute, i was sure it would be a no.
at 4:27pm, I recieved a phone call saying it was approved and They would pay my tuition AND give me some living expence money!

I guess what i'm trying to say though all of this, is Just love Jesus... You were created by him and for him. He knows whats best for you, but he also knows what your desires and wants are.... just give it up to him, even if it means not having them for a while, or ever again. But its in the moment you give Him everything, he'll bless you with a little something.

I may not be living in LA going to FIDM or attending NY Fashion week, but I do get a little taste of something that sparks my interest. :) and I'm going to completely enjoy it!

A name with meaning.

I used to think my name was boring, dull, over used.... well, i still think WAY too many people have the name Melissa, especially Melissa Williams, but to be honest, I actually like my name now :)
Melissa, simply meaning Honey Bee.
Since I loved the Pacific Islands and wanted to live there for a long long time, I decided to find out what my name would be in Hawaiian, and it was "Melika"
THEN, while I was living in an Arabic country people found my name weird and hard to remember, so sometime I'd just say my name Malika. It's very similar to "Melika", yet in Arabic, it means "queen".

One lovely day, I was having a conversation with a friend, he asked me my last name. (I guess he figured it would be some weird Native name). The conversation went a little like this:
Friend: What your last name?
Me: umm, Williams... nothing exciting... pretty common
Friend: an English name? Aren't you full Native?
Me: Yep, but i guess when the "white" people came over, they had trouble with our names, and some were changed into something easy to remember. I am Williams
Friend: hmm, good name.
Me: i guess.?
Friend: It means "son of william"
Me: that makes sense
Friend: but William was a king, so its son of a king. well, i guess daughter to you.

Thus saying: I am a Queen, and the Daughter of the King :)

OH! i almost forgot, my Native name is Waawaaskonehs, meaning "little flower"
What does my name mean again?

Prayer Request

Ok, so I applied to SOMD (school of ministry development) in LA, and got accepted back in... nov?.
My dream is to have a local mobile ministry serving native america here in muskoka, ontario. So, right now i'm really praying/looking for some people with the same or similar vision- i guess pray for that too!

(this is where i need your prayers)
When i got into my car accident on Jan 22, I got charged for careless driving b/c it was an unknown reason as to why i went off the road. (praising God that i managed to WALK out of that accident alive! pix on facebook if you haven't seen/heard) The police officer advised me to go court, and ask for a lesser fine and fewer points. Otherwise i'd have to pay $400 and lose 6 points... So of course i chose the court option.

On Jan 25, a different cop showed up at my house, to "re issue" me a different ticket because the one the first police gave me had the wrong date (he put jan 21).

well, on the 26, I mailed out the re issued ticket. and i have been waiting a month to find out when i go to court. However, YWAM LA is coming close, so i was starting to get a little antsy about this whole court thing. So i called the Ontario Justice department, and when they were checking my file, they said that NOTHING has come in...

So, now i am over my 15 day "grace" period, and they could take my lack of a ticket as a "plea of guilty". and the police officer entered the WRONG ticket into the system. well, just pray that i find out my court date sooooooon, i still havent given my notice yet, and missing court dates are a big deal.

So pray that things will speed up, and i'll find out my court date SOON, and that it's before March 19! (i'm flying out of michigan on the 26 or 27th, but i have to be up north the week before i leave to LA)

Much Love!

Just adding this now :)

Updates on my Dad



Tuesday, January 5, 2010 at 7:17am



Sorry this is so wordy! my mom wrote it, but it explains everything that had happend over the past couple of months, thanks so much for all the encouraging e-mails and prayers :)

Ernie has lived with chronic pain for well over a year. It just got worse in November, were he couldn't stand the intensity of it...so on Nov. 15th at 3am, he finally agreed to go to the hospital. They put Ernie on morphine injections for the pain & on Nov. 20th, they sent him home...he was prescribed morphine pills to take at home but he couldn't digest these because of the hardening of his internal organs, (the esophagus & stomach). He kept waiting for the painkillers to kick in but finally on Nov. 29th at 3am, HE told me he was going to the hospital, he was experiencing chest pains. The ER doctor was Ernie's former doctor. By this time Ernie was down to 119 lbs.. I asked Dr. Hardy if he noticed that Ernie was just skin & bones...he said, "I just see bones". Anyway Dr. Hardy knew about scleroderma, so that was a big help. Even before Dr. Hardy got the blood & heart results, he said he was admitting Ernie. They pumped him intravenouly with iron, 2 units of red blood cells, saline, albumin, morphine, etc.. Dr. Fargher's (hospital doctor), report states, "Examination revealed a wasted, thin, chronically ill looking man whose weight had dropped to 55 kiolgram from 62.7 kilograms on Nov. 15/09". On Dec.2nd & 4th, they gave him a barium swallow which left him in tremendous pain and to make it more horribly painful his body was rejecting the morphine. On Dec. 5th, another ER doctor put a nasalgastric tube to drain the barium and morphine from his stomach. Lots of trials to "get to the problem". On Dec. 9th, Dr. Clark(family doctor) ordered a CT angiography and later told Ernie his stomach was very much hardened and there was nothing that can be done. This left Ernie absolutely devasted! Ernie cried, "Lord if your not going to heal me of this disease, than take the pain away." I called all the prayer lines I knew, and Pauline Gunner called all the APM churches to Pray for a Miracle! I requested prayers on internet. Martin Lasbrook visited him and prayed through with him...Ernie said he felt the pain leaving. On Dec.10th, I asked the doctor if I could take Ernie home, (thinking if there was nothing that could be done, than I wasn't going to leave him in the hospital). Dr. Fargher looked surprised at Ernie's meal and said, "If he can eat the solids without getting sick he can go home by the weekend!...not realizing that the kitchen staff hadn't brought him full fluids!..so there was Ernie eating solids! Hallelujah! Today, he is still pain-free.



Oh, I want to mention, Ernie use to take lots of diabetes pills per/day, because he refused to take insulin. Anyway, while in the hospital the nurses came in to give him insulin. I seen the look of fear(?) in Ernie's eyes as he told the nurse, he wasn't taking insulin...he never ever wants to be on insulin!...Stigma attached to going from pills to insulin!! Anyway, the nurse explained because he couldn't digest the pills, they were ordered to give the insulin...so he finally gave in.
Ernie was discharged from the hospital on Dec. 12th. He no longer takes any diabetes meds! He does not have celiacs! While in hospital he got bed-sores. Dec. 10th, I changed the tegaderm and saw that it had worsened. Dec.12th, I asked if they could change the tegaderm before we left. The bed-sores were all cleared up!!! Today, January 4th, Ernie is still pain-free and has gained 20lbs. Praise the LORD! God is good! Amen