Stuff before God.

"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel." Phil 1:12

This is a letter Paul wrote and as I was reading it I was so excited! Here is a man that has been through WAY more than I can comprehend and here he is in a prison saying how his trials served to advance the gospel!
I realize that my life is no where near Pauls but I do feel that we (the western culture) tend to put items and objects above God. I don't think that I would realize how much my relationship was lacking, I've been given so much STUFF through out my life that I had forgotten how blessed I truly am, not saying i'm not thankful, but I am saying that I didn't realize how much i placed stuff above God.

Its funny because I was in Ottawa the other day and I felt soooo joyful, a feeling I had forgetten how much i missed. And pretty much the moment I had that back it was tested and tested hard!
Whether it be walking out of my best friends apartement because I knew I was hurting God by staying and i felt the best way to represent God was by walking away for that party.
or having my laptop, ipod, hard drive, camera and other stuff stolen out of my car, and not blaming God for not watching over my stuff. Maybe in some messed up way I needed that stuff out of my life for a little while in order to remember how much God actually loves me and how good it feels to be in constant communication with Him.

How many times has God asked me to spend time with him and i've put it off? How much dust do i let collect on my bible before i decided that him and i have some catching up to do? How many times do i talk to him just to vent and forget to ask him how he's doing?

I've had to learn this by having all this stuff just disappear.

So, i'll end with; How many times do YOU put God on the back burner? and how many times do you let stuff come inbetween you and God?

Heavenly treasures

The past few weeks i've known my dear friend Synnove has been visiting Ontario (originally from Norway, but currently living in Los Angeles) and i've wanted to hop in my car and drive to Ottawa (6 hours away). Unfortunitly it didn't look like that would be possible considering I work at a resort and this is the busiest time of the year... Until, a family reunion came to stay and they had a special contract with my boss, which required only 2 people and they'd only be working for four hours a day, thankfully i was blessed with 3 days off!

Something felt a little unsetteling... I wasn't sure of where i'd be staying, or for how long but i couldn't pass up this opportunity to be reunited with one the most truly genuin girls i know! So the next morning i hopped in my car and made the 6 hour trek and decided to also drive an extra 1.5 hours and stay with one of my very closest friends Alyssa, who lives in Hogansburg NY.

I would love to say that things went smoothly but actually it felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong:

I had trouble finding Synnove, felt way out of place at alyssa's and ended up getting a hotel, the hotel ended up being more expensive than i thought, the customs officer was horrible and took forever crossing everyone, was late leaving NY to head back to ottawa, i didn't pack enough warmer clothes, someone was very rude to my friends and myself then to find out my car was broken into and took $3000 worth of stuff; Ipod touch, laptop, external hard drive, Canon rebel xsi, new camera flash, mac makeup and brushs and a lot of smaller things.

The weird thing was is I would not call the trip "bad" or "horrible" actually I had a really fun time, it was like the highs were so high that it made up for all the inconviences of this trip and i'm so blessed that I was able to go and spend time with two girls who are both really close to my heart.

On the way home I felt bad for whoever felt they needed to break into my car and i know in my heart i forgave them and i ask god that they will come to know him and I actually felt at peace, i wasn't angry or mad but I actually hope that one day I will meet them in Heaven... I mean it sucks that I lost all of those things but i dont think i've ever felt so at peace with God.

MAN! is it weird that it took this mess of a few days to really make me appreciate how much God loves! its kind of unreal thinking... Then i got a message on facebook saying ".He can take my joy, he can take my peace he can steal from me, But the enemy cant take my PRaise!! Treasures get stored in heaven for You because of these things happening to you....you are called according to HIs purpose...YOu have been Marked, you're a target for the enemy!!!halleluyah....BIg things ahead for you...."

And I accept and agree with that! The devil stole physical things from me, things that i thought i needed, but really it brought me so much closer to God, seeing how much he loves me through this is insane! i'm not worried about how i'm going to pay for school but i'm trusting that God knows whats best for me, and if allowing my stuff to be taken away is what he feels is best... than i'm trusting in him and i'm going to do it praising the name of Jesus :)

"People see our actions, God sees why we do them"

This has been on my mind the past few weeks, I know i'm a good person, with good intentions, good values and I live a good life. Sometimes I have to wonder, how much of my good life does God see pleasing?

A huge part of me is missing Youth With A Mission (YWAM) and On Eagles Wings (OEW) because it's so easy to say focused on Christ, your surrounded in a bubble of people who all have the same passion to know God and make Him known.  Knowing what breaks Gods heart and helping out whether it be through pray, giving, vulenteering etc. feels right.
Lately i've been feeling i'm losing the God intention in things, and doing things out of good intentions but sometimes those intentions feel a little obligated.

I know one thing for sure, i need to get back to a place where I can look in a mirror and see Jesus in me, radiating his light, doing things out of His love and/or brokeness.
Anyone can do good things and can help others with good intentions but how much more effective is it when you have the love of Jesus radiating through you with God intentions!... That, has power to change things eternally.

Focus on the Beauty

The past few night i feel asthough God has been saying "focus on the beauty"
and reminding me how much I used to enjoy finding beauty in all things.

Sunsets:
Each sunset has its own unique beauty, a beauty that will only be shared for that day, for that moment, because there will never be a sunset the same. Its like God's canvas; a painting to remind us of His creativeness and to give us a hope for a new day and brighter day. I used to look out at the sky almost evernight (no matter where i was) just to see what beautiful painting God had for me that day, it was a daily reminder of how much he loves me, us, His children.

People:
Not only in the sky can you see His workmanship but also in the people i come into contact with daily. God's creations, we are each uniquely designed, no one is the same... not now, not ever! If you think about it, EVERYONE (past and present) have their own set of finger prints, no one is the same!

Can you even image a God who loves you so much, that he designed you to be you, and no one else? We aren't a bunch of clones (if he wanted to, he could have easily done that) but he loved each one of us so much that he took time and effort into forming us to be the person we are today.

I'll finish with this: next time your having a bad day, just look up to the sky and you'll see what God can do. Or the next time someone at is driving you crazy, try to see what God sees. Find the beauty in everything he created.