I absolutely love the homeless feedings and am a little bummed that my time volunteering there was finished this week. It is during these times that I am reminded of what I love; Relationship building, being able to serve the community that I live in, and meeting people like Matthew. But before I talk more about him maybe I should mention a part of my upbringing.
I grew up in an extemely loving and happy home, I knew that I was loved deeply by my parents but we had our issues too, my dad was an alcoholic- a binge drinker, someone who wouldn't drink for months or years at a time but when he would slip and it would turn into a 1-2 week ordeal.
I remember pouring out bottles that we would find around the house, hiding it if we didn't have time to empty it, I remember waking up to him not being home, knowing at a young age that there was a chance that he may not make it back, I remember crying myself to sleep wondering if he was ok, I still remember the smell that the house would take on, hearing the dry heaves from the basement, but mainly I remember begging him to get help, or threatening to leave if things didn't change.
Honestly, I'm sooo extremely grateful for a mother who would let me fall asleep in her arms, and a teacher who would tell me that I needed to keep loving him and know that he was sick but he still loved me deep down, I'm thankful for my "uncle" Charlie who somehow always knew when to come and just be with my dad, I'm thankful for a grandmother that never stopped praying and also a whole long list of people who also prayed. It's through some many supportive people that I am able to say that my dad has been sober for 9? years and he cleaned himself up and is becoming the man that God has intended him to be.
Ok. Back to Matthew, this man is also someone who was deeply rooted in drugs and alcohol, someone who used to be homeless and lost his wife and children because they couldn't handle his addictions any longer.
But the Matthew I met is completely different then who he was. I saw a strenght in Matthew that reminded me of my father, a strenght of a man who had some many people come against him, who once held onto a lot of bitterness, and sadness in his life, but the strenght that he now carries within himself is so deep and powerful that he was able to change the outcome of his life.
This strenght that I am talking about you can only find when you realize that you are created for so much more, that there is more to life then just getting through the day.
I am so thankful for meeting Matthew, he is a reminder to me, of where my family was, and where we are now. Hearing him speak of his broken past brought me back to a place of remembering those that I was once close to that are also now caught up in the same issues Matthew faced, but it also brought upon encouragement that there is still hope for those people, that if they found that same strenght my dad and Matthew found that they could also become people of change and impact.
Matthew is now a man who has been clean for 8 years, who now has a decent job, he currently has a growing relationship with his two boys, is no longer living on the street, volunteers within his community, and still finds time to go snorkeling and fishing, but mainly he is now a man that comes to homeless feedings to be reminded of what his life once was, and how he was able to find the power of God to get him out and change the course of his life.
This blog started as "my life in missions" but has become what inspires me, my thoughts through lifes ups and downs, & what is God teaching me.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Love as it was displayed to me.
This school has been one of the best yet toughest times, I've heard someone call it a "9 month quiet time with God" and sometimes it is hard to look at the bible and see it as you and God time, but rather too often it becomes a text book.
We have finally reached the book of Matthew and I was pretty excited to be reading about this man Jesus, but as we started doing homework the more I realized how rich it was, and it was taking to do homework (this, along with anxiously awaiting break and spending time with my family).
A few girls and I decided to pull away from our studies and go for a walk to the pier (Pretty much my favorite place to clear my mind, hearing the waves makes me think of dock nights at home). On our way to the pier we saw some YWAMers singing and praying for people who were out on the streets (tourists and locals) and after walking by we decided that if they were there on the way back we'd ask them to pray for us. And of course once we returned they were still there and the girls went in for prayers, I wasn't really feeling it but did it anyways... Lets just say that God knows exactly what we need to hear and he used those two people to speak truth and life back into our hearts.
I don't remember too much of what was said over me but I do remember that Gabriel said that I have a servents heart but also quiet unconditional love for people.
It really hit me that my friends see this in me, and so does God. One thing I've always prayed over myself was to love people the way God does, and the way that it has been displayed to me through my parents.
My mom is this strong rock solid woman, through her I've learned to invest in and defend the "underdogs". I've seen her fight to see her family restored, she is a woman who wants to see unity within people, her community and especially her loved ones. I admire her perserverence.
There have been so many times that i've felt like a "horrible" daughter, not living up to expectations I put on myself but it's in those moments that she has been the one to pick me up and encourage me to keep going and pressing on. If it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't know how to perserver and fight for my friends in their times of need.
As for my dad, I've seen him in some of this low times but I've always seen him get back up. He also has a pure loving heart, one that is unshakable. I really believe that my father has been the greatest example of how The Father loves His children, and to think that God loves me more than my father does actually blows my mind and is pretty unimaginable for me. I've seen my dad cry for the people he cares about that are going through hard times, and he can't fix the problems. He's a prayer warrior, dispite his sickness he is still capable to pray over those who are also sick and in pain, but not only just face-to-face but in his quiet times with God.
All in all, my parents have given me so much love and dispite my mistakes they love me unconditionally, but they have also displayed what love should look like. I've seen many times how my dad bends over backwards for my mom because he genuinly wants to see her happy, and I've seen my mom do everything she possibly can to watch over my dad, to make sure he is comfortable and healthy as he can be.
It's through their Godly characters that I am able to somewhat grasp how God loves. And even though there is still so much I need to learn I'm thankful that God can see my heart in wanted to be His daughter and learning to love the way my Papa does!
We have finally reached the book of Matthew and I was pretty excited to be reading about this man Jesus, but as we started doing homework the more I realized how rich it was, and it was taking to do homework (this, along with anxiously awaiting break and spending time with my family).
A few girls and I decided to pull away from our studies and go for a walk to the pier (Pretty much my favorite place to clear my mind, hearing the waves makes me think of dock nights at home). On our way to the pier we saw some YWAMers singing and praying for people who were out on the streets (tourists and locals) and after walking by we decided that if they were there on the way back we'd ask them to pray for us. And of course once we returned they were still there and the girls went in for prayers, I wasn't really feeling it but did it anyways... Lets just say that God knows exactly what we need to hear and he used those two people to speak truth and life back into our hearts.
I don't remember too much of what was said over me but I do remember that Gabriel said that I have a servents heart but also quiet unconditional love for people.
It really hit me that my friends see this in me, and so does God. One thing I've always prayed over myself was to love people the way God does, and the way that it has been displayed to me through my parents.
My mom is this strong rock solid woman, through her I've learned to invest in and defend the "underdogs". I've seen her fight to see her family restored, she is a woman who wants to see unity within people, her community and especially her loved ones. I admire her perserverence.
There have been so many times that i've felt like a "horrible" daughter, not living up to expectations I put on myself but it's in those moments that she has been the one to pick me up and encourage me to keep going and pressing on. If it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't know how to perserver and fight for my friends in their times of need.
As for my dad, I've seen him in some of this low times but I've always seen him get back up. He also has a pure loving heart, one that is unshakable. I really believe that my father has been the greatest example of how The Father loves His children, and to think that God loves me more than my father does actually blows my mind and is pretty unimaginable for me. I've seen my dad cry for the people he cares about that are going through hard times, and he can't fix the problems. He's a prayer warrior, dispite his sickness he is still capable to pray over those who are also sick and in pain, but not only just face-to-face but in his quiet times with God.
All in all, my parents have given me so much love and dispite my mistakes they love me unconditionally, but they have also displayed what love should look like. I've seen many times how my dad bends over backwards for my mom because he genuinly wants to see her happy, and I've seen my mom do everything she possibly can to watch over my dad, to make sure he is comfortable and healthy as he can be.
It's through their Godly characters that I am able to somewhat grasp how God loves. And even though there is still so much I need to learn I'm thankful that God can see my heart in wanted to be His daughter and learning to love the way my Papa does!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Hunger, Healings and Faithfulness
My parents don't usually like to tell me what is going on with my dad, especially when I'm gone they don't like me to worry...
Tonight I was able to go to the hungry feeding downtown Kona and I ended up sitting with two guys (Matt and John) who were all about their spiritual journey to finding true "enlightenment". I seem to always find myself in situations where people are usually on these types of quests. Anyways, after the feeding was over myself and two other girls felt we should stay behind and talk more with theses guys and I felt that I should just sit beside them but just be in constant prayer.
After a long talk, listening to them talk about what they believe, one of my friends mentioned to Matt that she can actually hear from God and He can talk to her on a regular bases, so he asked if we could ask God to tell him something.
Long story short we were praying and received a few things for both guys, and one thing really hit home to one of them, we even prayed for Johns foot to be healed (he recently hurt it, it was swollen with a fairly deep laceration and had to go to the hospital to get it looked at) I'm not going to lie, I've prayer for years for my dad to be completely healed of his disease and I've seen it go back and forth all the time, so praying for spiritual healing is something I tend to get discouraged about, but I felt that we really should pray for this guys foot.
After about 3 attempts of trying to pray for healing for this guys foot and seeing nothing really happen, I felt a little discouraged that it wasn't one of those moments where God heals right on the spot but it was encouraging to hear how amazed they were that three people would take time out of their day and speak, pray and just listen to them.
I'm committing myself to pray for both John and Matt on a regular bases, that they will one day know Jesus as their saviour and that I will meet them again one day in heaven.
I love how even though God doesn't answer prayers they way we want or think it should happen that He is still God and is still in control, and will always leave us with a hope that He is still a God of Miricles!
Even thought John's foot wasn't healed tonight, I saw a message on my moms facebook concerning my dad that read:
(To read a little more of what my dad has gone through please check out an older blog entry: http://mel01.blogspot.com/2010/02/just-adding-this-now.html)
I just want to end with, no matter how bleek things look, don't give up praying and trusting in God to work through things, He's the one who seees the big picture. Tonight I was able to step out in faith and pray for a guys foot to be healed, and even though it wasn't healed on the spot, I know God seem my faithfulness in stepping out, and praying. I really feel that God blessed me for that, and showed me that He is still in control with what happens with my dad and I need to keep praying stepping out in faith because if I'm faithful to God, He will be faithful to me.
Tonight I was able to go to the hungry feeding downtown Kona and I ended up sitting with two guys (Matt and John) who were all about their spiritual journey to finding true "enlightenment". I seem to always find myself in situations where people are usually on these types of quests. Anyways, after the feeding was over myself and two other girls felt we should stay behind and talk more with theses guys and I felt that I should just sit beside them but just be in constant prayer.
After a long talk, listening to them talk about what they believe, one of my friends mentioned to Matt that she can actually hear from God and He can talk to her on a regular bases, so he asked if we could ask God to tell him something.
Long story short we were praying and received a few things for both guys, and one thing really hit home to one of them, we even prayed for Johns foot to be healed (he recently hurt it, it was swollen with a fairly deep laceration and had to go to the hospital to get it looked at) I'm not going to lie, I've prayer for years for my dad to be completely healed of his disease and I've seen it go back and forth all the time, so praying for spiritual healing is something I tend to get discouraged about, but I felt that we really should pray for this guys foot.
After about 3 attempts of trying to pray for healing for this guys foot and seeing nothing really happen, I felt a little discouraged that it wasn't one of those moments where God heals right on the spot but it was encouraging to hear how amazed they were that three people would take time out of their day and speak, pray and just listen to them.
I'm committing myself to pray for both John and Matt on a regular bases, that they will one day know Jesus as their saviour and that I will meet them again one day in heaven.
I love how even though God doesn't answer prayers they way we want or think it should happen that He is still God and is still in control, and will always leave us with a hope that He is still a God of Miricles!
Even thought John's foot wasn't healed tonight, I saw a message on my moms facebook concerning my dad that read:
(To read a little more of what my dad has gone through please check out an older blog entry: http://mel01.blogspot.com/2010/02/just-adding-this-now.html)
I just want to end with, no matter how bleek things look, don't give up praying and trusting in God to work through things, He's the one who seees the big picture. Tonight I was able to step out in faith and pray for a guys foot to be healed, and even though it wasn't healed on the spot, I know God seem my faithfulness in stepping out, and praying. I really feel that God blessed me for that, and showed me that He is still in control with what happens with my dad and I need to keep praying stepping out in faith because if I'm faithful to God, He will be faithful to me.
Matt and John
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)